Episode 1: Back to the Booginning

Honey Boo Boo Child (Alana) introduces us to the family.

Let’s meet everyone individually…

Pumpkin is… Pumpkin.

Alana says Anna is "the pregnantest".  I hope this is true.

Jessica drew the short straw in the nickname game.

According to Mama, Sugar Bear is her man and the “Baby Daddy” of Alana.

Mama June is 32 and by the end of the season—a grandmother!


Now that we’ve met everyone let’s find out more about their home life…

Oh my god please don’t do what I think you’re about to do.

Gagging in the middle of Starbucks right now. I don’t even like finding loose hair in the bathroom.

Now I’m itchy.

Armadinner time?

Redneck Games? Is that like the Extra Special Olympics? This should be good. Or really, really bad.

It’s historical, not racist! (the flag)

Mama says the Redneck Games are a lot like the Olympics…

Let the games begin! 

Pumpkin has been carefully selected to represent the family in bobbing for raw pig feet.

Let’s go to the scoreboard for the results:

A devastating loss for the family.

Too much beer and sun. Looks like we have our first casualty of the day.

Now the kids want to go swimming in the river but…

Alana heckles the illiterate folk that are lucky/ignorant enough to be swimming in the river.

Back to the games and it’s time for the mud pit belly flop competition. A drunk-ass couple (with about forty years between them) kicks things off. 

Even though she loses, Alana’s pride remains intact. 

The games are over and now we’re back home where Chubbs opens up about body image.

Mama asks the important question:

The pork rinds might have something to do with it.  Just a thought.

Chubbs asks Mama to join her in losing weight. June says she’s happy with her “beautimous" body but will try for her daughter.

Time for the weigh in.

It took two tries before the scale registered June’s weight at 307 lbs. 

There are only five minutes left in this episode but in TLC time that’s plenty for a pageant!

Let’s meet our pageant director:

I wonder what Mama thinks about this…

June is prepared and brings the Stinkeye.

Alana is feeling positive today:

Two minutes later…


SEE YOU NEXT TIME!

Notes

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